For the first time in 23 years, I have not one but two classes that number less then 20. I have somewhat died and gone to heaven – teacher heaven. I have both a Directing Class and a class I created entitled Company, that seeks to emulate a BFA acting program in college.
I have never taught these exact classes before. I have been a part of these classes in previous lives but I have not had the opportunity to step up to this plate. I am a bit scared. I’ve said it. I own it. I’m worried about my grade – not theirs. These two classes mean so much to me that it has me on edge twisting around at night – – testing out possiblities for the upcoming classes. It is a really uncomfortable place to be and I am totally loving it.
I truly cannot understand those teachers whose goal is to have but one “prep”. How can a teacher go through the entire day enjoying and evolving every period when the same topics are being dispensed every hour? Doesn’t teacher robot kick in? I can’t imagine that the TEACHER can keep a sincere exploration with the students when they have walked this same section of the map over and over again. Ideally, I would love to have a different “prep” every period. I’m selfish. I’m thinking of me. I don’t want to be readin’ the reading and talkin’ the talking for the same damn stuff over and over again. I’m more about my day rather then their 90 minutes. Bad teacher, I know.
In the first five classe meetings, I have done my syllabus, my song and dance, my best stories and my “look at me, I’m the teacher” dance. That’s done. Sitting today in Company today – in a particularly joyous artistic event, I have decided to resign as thier teacher. That relationship does not seem to fit with them. I really don’t want to teach them. I want to learn with them. Of course I will be the master learner in the room. It will still be my class. I will be moving the class forward as artists, but I want to do it as a learner. I am hoping my questions and my experience will take them forward. But I am now seeing myself as not standing in front pulling them to their education, but moving behind them walking them forward.
I certainly know that when the administration comes in to evaluate me for the 23rd time, I will grab a rubric, paste up a word wall, do some some FCAT (if that’s what they are calling it today) /SUNSHINE/IPDP Pillars of Exellance modeling but secretly I’ll be sitting in the back of the room ready to learn some more.
Don’t tell the principal.
One comment on “Don’t Tell the Principal”
Yes, tell the principal!!!! But I’m pretty certain she already knows this about your teaching. I feel compelled to respond to your perception of the evaluation process. Trust your instincts! What you have described “not standing in front pulling them…but moving behind them pushing them forward” is exactly what we need to do as educators. Lose the word wall, it’s FSA now, not FCAT and focus on the four pillars of excellent teaching. What you have described is exactly that. The rubric just keeps the grading fair, the lesson plan takes us into your head to gain understanding about where and how you will push your students. I’m so telling on you!!! Loved this blog!